Survivors Poetry

Mother's Fruit

There were 4 of us in total, over the years of mother bearing her fruit.
One was left alone like a wholesome cherub, pure and untouched and complete.
One said no and fought and resisted, he left her bare and confused.
One said yes to save the other and he left her bare, shaking and crying, with something
missing, never to be whole again.
One said yes, though as a baby I doubt that she knew what it really meant.
She still shakes and cries and lies bare, confused and alone.
There were four of us in total, over the years of mother bearing her fruit.
Now there are only fragments................

My father’s voice

It still soothes me, the soft lilting tremble of my father’s voice; lying with my head on his chest listening to the sounds of the vibrations in his throat.

I enjoy the closeness that we have always shared; the calming influence that his presence has on me, the contented silence that comes when my brain finally switches off and I know who I am again.

I adore and love and worship this man, I idolise him. I live in wonder of the strong hands that so tenderly nurture his beloved plants, the wise, creative mind that gave us hours of fun on treasure hunts and long walks in the countryside and stories at bedtime.
I stare in bewilderment at the weakened arms that were once used to swing an axe high into the air only to come crashing down onto a wooden block and shatter logs for a warm fire on a cold evening.

I pull the loose skin on the back of his ageing hands, squashing the veins and watching them ping back into place, it still makes me smile in childish wonderment.
How I love this time we spend together, so precious and comforting and free of the chaos of the past.

Ramblings of a Lost Child By Selia as she is today 2008

Talk of: 'It’s not your fault', makes me laugh out loud
How am I supposed to take the blame from the grasp of an evil force?

“Every day a shiny coin for you to hide away, promise not to tell anyone this is just our special game.”
But if I knew I had earned it surely I would've enjoyed it more?

Did you know that innocence is something you can buy? You don't get much for your pound of flesh but you can watch a child die inside.

When I cry, I release the inner child… tears rolling from my eyes, wipe them on my sleeve and hide my grubby face.
Keep yr apologies to yourself because they won’t wash with me...

Wash me please, the fountain of youth doesn't clean my dirty mind, the fountain of knowledge is fulfilling but it comes at a costly price.

No justice for me only thankful for yr painful disease
I hear that on your deathbed how you cried clutching yr rosaries...

He can’t hear you! How can there be God when there’s so much decay? Has the devil taken over the world and God left us here in dismay?

All this time, I’ve been hiding and dying to be set free,
You are burning up in Lucifer's pit but your cries won’t get through to me.

When I'm alone, isolated and dreaming that I could be free there’s something that’s pulling me down and I know that you're still inside me.

At night, when I'm laying beside the man that I love, I am grateful for the fact I can trust that there’s some one who can keep me afloat.

Poems by Selia
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