Survivors Poetry

Be Careful

Be careful who you trust
Who you let into your life
When the one you love has gone
And only leaves a wife.
Be careful who comes calling
To fill that empty space
And covers his intentions
With a smile upon his face.
Be careful when you go out
And leave her in his care.
Because his hands may wander
Whilst they’re sitting in the chair.
Be careful not to trust too much
Because even as she sleeps
He’s finding ways to get to her
And through clothes his hand creeps.
Be careful when he greets her
That his lips do not touch hers
And linger there too long
When they’re alone he does prefer.
Be careful because she’ll keep it
Bottled up inside
And never let you know
Of the secrets that she hides.
She will be careful not to hurt you
And even to this day
Of all the abuse she took from him
To you she’ll never say.

What did you see.....?

What did you see when you looked at me?
That child so full of innocence.
The one who lost her Daddy
when God took him away.
Why did you abuse me?
And leave me feeling guilty
a feeling that remains with me
each and every day.
What did you see when you looked at me?
And took away that innocence
and left me feeling different
from those who were around me.
What gave you the right
to seize each opportunity?
And act like it was natural
that it was meant to be.
What did you see when you looked at me?
When you reached out to touch
Did you think of how I felt?
Of the damage to my mind
Why did you betray my trust?
Of which I gave so freely
Trust that since those days
I search so hard to find.
What did you see when you looked at me?
Before your mouth covered mine
And my lips would clamp together
My arms down by my side.
What drove you to behave that way?
And then act like nothing happened
Leaving me with yet
another secret to hide.
What did you see when you looked at me?
Did you ever see the child?
The one who loved her Mother
And so my tongue was tied.
How could you pretend to be so good?
And yet act so badly.
When where I wanted to be
Was by my Daddy’s side.
I know what you saw when you looked at me…
A child who would not tell.
My Daddy… he’s in Heaven
And you have gone to Hell.

Silently

Upon your lap I giggle and squirm
not knowing the pleasure was really yours
Your touch was too much to bear
and silenced me forever.
Behind the settee became my sanctuary
a place to run and hide
just a bewildered six year old
I hid silently.
Asleep in the car… I’m awoken
fondling, fumbling, is this real?
I stir, you stop, and I sit up
and stare ahead silently.
I enter the room…you’re already there
a figure lurking, smirking
like a predator watching its prey
and I stiffen and scream silently.
You approach and stake your claim
I hold my breath and pray that
it will be over soon
I do this silently.
My silence was your friend.
My shame was my enemy
The guilt you made me feel
Wrapped around me silently.
Now you are no more
but I am still here
and I have found my voice once more
And will not live life silently.

By Therese Hutchings