Survivors' Story

I never new what abuse was until I was in my early 20's when I started working for a charity and realised that what I had experienced as a child was in fact abuse. Back in those days Abuse was not heard of sex was not talked about not like these days.

My parents divorced when I was 3 my mum remarries (or so I thought but in reality just living together) I had a happy childhood until my Gran passed away when I was 10 nearly 11 (Gran shared a room with me) my stepfather was very consoling to the fact. What I did not realise was his touching lead to more acts and eventual rape at the age of 11 it happened on a regular basis each week on return from school was the worse part as he and I would be alone - he worked shifts and mum was away all day not returning until 6pm. He gave me money to keep quite and threatened to send me away if I ever told never to see my mum again.

He progressively got worse the fights and arguments between mum and him always ended up with things being thrown or him leaving to go to the pub then he would come home drunk I can still smell him these days when I am near someone who has had lots to drink. The shame and guilt never really leave you but it dose get better. It did stop at age 14 mainly due I think because I became "a woman"! I must have scared him I suppose no more rape's just on occasions other things but not as frequent.

Beth