Survivors' Story

I was abused when I was a teenager by my step-father.  I went on the child protection register but came off it when I was 16.  Social services told my Mother  - she believed them until she spoke to my step-father.  He continued to abuse me even after I had moved out.

Basically, he got away with it and my Mother still lives with him pretending to be a happy family, going to church etc.

I love my Mum – there is a maternal bond , however, I feel disappointed that she didn’t do enough to protect me.

After speaking to a professional, she said most Mother’s leave their partners after the disclosure – I have found that this is not always the case.

I am 32 years old now – I realise that I don’t have to address why he did what he did to me as he means nothing to me – never has.  But I always questioned my Mother’s behaviour.

I realise know that it is more to do with denial.  I have seen how people react to bad news – they don’t want to believe it, they push the words or the memories out of their heads to enable them to deal with getting on with their lives.

My Mother isn’t a bad person – she didn’t choose for me to get sexually abused.  For this reason, she is also a victim of my step-father.  If she knew what type of man he was before she got married – they never would have got married in the first place.

After years of guilt, anger, depression, feeling worthless and unloved – I realise that it is time for me to move on – get some counselling and lay the demons to rest.

I never want to forgive him for what he did to me – I’m happy enough hating him – however I am gradually finding the strength to forgive my Mother.

When I feel low, which happens regualy, I eventually find the strength to pick myself up and tell myself that I am a survivor.  I am a good natured person and one day I will find peace within – we all will.  Maybe my step-father will never find that peace – never mind, he doesn’t deserve it – I do!

By Getting There