Different?

By Marcy

She used to think, i wish i had a mother to tell me things to advise me what is right and wrong, i wish i had a father, to discipline me, to get angry when i have a boyfriend while im too young. She used to think why do i feel so different from everyone else? How can they find so much to talk about? How come they have so much confidence? she wished she could be that confident.How come everyone else seems so much more attractive, no matter how hard she tries? But now her confidence has started to grow with adulthood she has become stronger,relationships with the father of her children have come and gone, cheaters, liars, stealing her trust,these have added to her strength but also added to her insecurity she looks at poeple now with different eyes, she thinks 'you either love me or you hate me, either way i dont care, im not going to let you get to me'.  She has a heart of gold and will do anything for anyone, but dont tread on her toes because now she is different, now she has more confidence, she will face things instead of hiding behind a wall or under a blanket on her own sobbing for hours on end, wondering why am i here? Things are different now, whatever she has,she has earned for herself, one rebel teenager, a lovely son, a beautiful 8 year old girl, a regular job, a partner. She still wonders what it would be like to have support from family, a mother a father, but now she sees it in a different light, she doesnt need them, she's got her independance now and a family of her own, good friends, she doesnt feel as different as she used to.