Survivors Poetry

Below The Surface

Yes I am very deep
With thoughts that I keep
To protect those who ask
From the answers I mask
I for one, do not wish to shock
Or be a figure for folk to mock

Only I know what is hidden away
Painful memories that always stay
Locked away, kept out of view
Emerging only to the choosen few
Those who do not gossip and chatter
They are the ones that only matter

Even then I will hesitate
Afraid you think I exagerate
But no I do not, and I hope you can see
The reasons why I grew into me
Maybe only those who can cope with my views
Are those who have worn similar shoes

In an alcoholic haze of whisky and cigarettes
Scenes were hidden behind council house nets
Never an audience to watch the show
People passed by but would never know
What could it have been to trigger the fight
That would carry on the rest of the night

Unloved and unwanted, simply no use
So much constant emotional abuse
Run from the belt, run from the slipper
See my mother and how he hit her
Even when sectioned you acted well
Released again to continue the hell

Watching punches, avoiding the knife
Was this to be my outlook on life
Now you are dead and those incredible boulders
Have been removed from my aching shoulders
Never again will I put up with fists and fights
But acts of kindness send me into flight

Though I may not always forget
The battles I met
I thank god above
For giving me strength and love
To ignore the overcoat and look inside
And speak of the cause no longer to hide

In spite of your actions and your deeds
Beneath the armour was a boy in need
And so father I forgive you
Wherever you are
And I hope you are
That bright shining star

Poem by Jean