Survivors Poetry

Child Within

I see you child within, hiding behind the big oak tree.
I feel your pain, the tears that burn your cheeks I see.
They're back again, the ones you hate,
can't run, can't hide, just stand and wait.
I know what they do is really bad,
it makes you feel like your going mad.
I'm here little one, no matter what they do,
hold my hand I'll walk with you.
Maybe then they will leave you alone,
don't cry little one, I will take you home.

Survival

Sadness is a feeling I know so very well,
but the anger inside feels like a living hell.
Please, no one bother asking how I feel today,
you won’t get an answer because I don’t know what to say.
Even if I did you wouldn’t really want to hear,
so I think it’s best if you just don’t come too near.
Have you ever shut yourself away because you’re afraid to be seen,
because your mind, your thoughts and your body, feel so bloody unclean?
I became anorexic and looked so painfully thin,
so they shut me away for months and it made me feel like I had committed a sin.
My only crime was trusting in you?
My abusers and doing everything you told me to do.
At the moment my head’s all messed up and I’m feeling confused,
and all because of the years I’d been badly abused.
In the early years I used to get drunk, to try and ease the pain,
but when I woke up with a hangover, I really had nothing to gain.
Then I tried drugs thinking that would ease my pain as well,
but then I found I was digging myself deeper into a living hell.
A drug overdose was the biggest mistake I had ever done,
because if it had worked, then you would have all won.
But I have survived and I’m very much alive,
and now it’s your turn to run away and hide.
I still have so much pain hidden in my past,
and now I have someone who listens to me at last.
Some of you are dead and others may never see inside a prison cell,
but when you meet your maker, you will be in a living hell.
You see I am a survivor and there’s no way you can win,
because I’m telling the truth, and the truth can conquer anything.

Abused

Gazing out of my window last night,
I saw a myriad of stars shining so bright.
I thought of my past, and the rough that I walk,
Then my heart felt free because now I can talk.
I know it's an uphill stuggle today,
But I will think good thoughts as I go on my way.
When I look back and see how far I have come,
I'm pleased with myself, and the work I've already done.
I know I still have much work to do before I reach my goal,
Now I'm going to take back the life, that my abusers stole.

Feelings

Have you ever felt so sad, that you don’t know what to say,
Have you ever felt so sad, you could wish your life away?
Have you ever tried to explain, then found you just can’t speak,
Have you ever lived with pain, when each minute lasts a week?
I have felt that pain, and there was nothing I could do,
I lived so long with the heartache, because there was no one to talk to.
I never wanted friends, for fear they would come at a cost
So I wandered through life aimlessly, broken hearted alone and lost.
But now I have found my voice, and I have plenty to say,
I’m glad that I’m a survivor, and alive to see my abusers pay.

Poems by Linda Brown