Survivors Poetry

TO MY BROTHER

I will no longer sit in silence
I screamed inside again today
must find the strength to do what’s right
I will not look away

I'd healed my mind, my body and soul
repaired the damage, the memories were old
the pain, the scars the hurt you'd done
had healed with time, I could feel the sun
I COULD FEEL

I put my trust in you when you came back
The years they'd passed away
You must have changed, I thought with doubt
But to God I'd quietly pray and pray
 
You'd lived abroad with your new wife
A baby daughter now in your life
"A daddy’s girl" that’s what you said
WHY ARE ALARM BELLS RINGING IN MY HEAD!

Then I get a phone call from the blue
my little sister doesn't know what to do
she’s all confused, "what’s going on?"
Our brother, "He just tried it on!"

I had to tell her of the past
of what you'd done to me
I didn’t want her knowing
But you just couldn't leave her be!
The signs were there, the clues I’d missed
I am so sorry, my little sis

Spoke to mum about my worries
said she had thought the same
so it wasn’t my painful memories
playing silly games
our aged mum with her ill health
said you'd been round exposing yourself!
Fondling her breasts, having your fun
You F------ B------ you are her SON!

I refuse to let it carry on
you know inside what you do is wrong
I can't let this happen all over again
Wont let your daughter go through the pain
Why do you think you have the right
But now I have the strength to fight
I can stop this happening to my niece
I want her life to be in peace

SO
Sick to my stomach, tears filling my eyes
I pick up the phone after hundreds of tries
I FEEL SICK

I tell of the present
I speak of the past
my fear for the future
knowing I wasn't the last

Painful memories, flashing back
emotions, the guilt, anger and rage
Things I had dealt with
were let out of their cage
I FEEL SICK

You’re not going to change
so I have to be strong
I don’t give a toss
If it turns out to be wrong
3 sisters, your mum, aint that ENOUGH
MY niece might be saved
if I’m wrong its just TOUGH!

I am a survivor of the past
I hope you are stopped at last

I know your pattern
I know your ways
I have a choice
I have a VOICE
SHE DOESNT, but SHE DOES NOW and I'LL SPEAK FOR HER!

Poem by Tracey